Well, There Goes My Last F-ck

Hey everyone. How y’all?

Today is November 6, 2024 and we (America, the exclusive we) have just elected Donald John Trump as the 47th President of the United States. Let me restate that, we reelected arguably the worst – definitely the most infamous and criminal – commander-in-chief in history. I won’t give you a laundry list of his exploits in office. However, this thread on X, formerly Twitter, can – it’s called “the 100 Worst Things About the Trump Presidency”.

Trump’s racism goes all the way back to when he took out full-page ads calling for the return of the death penalty in response to the trials of the Exonerated Five, formerly known as the Central Park Five. He’s currently being sued, again, for repeating his defamatory lies. The Orange Nightmare is also a proud co-founder of the Birthirism Movement, which questioned the birthplace of former President Obama! This is all before he became the first President to ever be impeached twice and damn near told people to attack the Capitol on January 6th. Sounds like the DOJ is winding down that investigation too, so he won’t be held accountable for one of the worst days in American history.

I’m feeling so many things right now as a Black man, a queer man, a scholar, an artist, a person working full-time and still behind on bills. All of my identities are screaming into the void of whatever this reality is. I wish today was just a nightmare; something we could wake up from. I stupidly thought more Americans would decide that maybe we didn’t want a President that called other countries “shitholes”. Maybe we didn’t want a guy leading our military that buddies up to foreign dictators and autocrats. Maybe, just maybe we understood how terrible this guy is and how he has the infinite potential to make things worse for the vast majority of us. All that, “the president isn’t important” politics doesn’t matter when he’s a fascist.

Take a bow, cue the Rihanna track. We – again exclusive we – did it America. We had the chance to elect the first woman to the White House and we failed, again. She was unbelievably qualified, see her official VP bio here. I mean, just listen to this stat: she would have been the first President with experience in all three branches of government. Also, a quick read of the same bio tells you that she would’ve been the first President with that experience at the local, state and federal levels! Sure, you may disagree with some of her policies, but let me ask you something. Has she ever had a sex worker paid to lie about their relationship, then lied about making the payment? Stomach that, white so-called churchgoers who voted en masse to return a bigot to the White House. Did I mention he tried to buy Greenland? What an utterly ridiculous and dangerously delusional idiot have we bargained America’s future to.

I’m pissed that I can’t find the clip, but in the show “Dear White People” from Netflix, there’s this scene that I love. Coco Conners is the uppity-ish, beautiful main character that gives you Regine from “Living Single” vibes. She exclaims that she’s “out of fucks” and goes around the room asking people if they have any she can borrow, as if they’re gum or something. She finally settles on being “all out of fucks to give”. I forget the context, but it applies to how I feel about everything right now.

Today feels like the day after a funeral and the day before one at the same time. But if democracy is dying, it’s not because we let Donald Trump walk into DC one day and do the killing. This country has long shown how uninterested the vast majority of us are in preserving and protecting the rights of others. It was founded on empty promises of equality by literal slaveholders who wiped out and relocated the native inhabitants. Our national politics post-Obama have drifted, then torpedoed to the right. The ugly truth is, this was bound to happen here, now.

What do we do? Well, I’m going to go home and go to sleep. I’ll wake up tomorrow and try to pretend that everything is okay. There will be the weekend of not going on social media, the check-ins with my five siblings, the furious gym workout. After that, I’m getting ready to get to work. I’m going to let the anger and shock of this absurd moment subside, then I’m putting my time to use organizing and writing. That rage that Ancestor Baldwin spoke of is about to go full-on revolutionary. For right now though, there goes my last fuck.

-‘24 – ‘25 Prez